Previously this page contained some information about myself, but since I learned that it is frequently accessed by visitors, I no longer want to waste your time with that. Instead I use the opportunity to offer a few personal words I consider to be of more importance.
My spiritual journeys have taught me, but there is comparatively little practical knowledge resulting from it. I have no messages from higher beings, no teachings for personal improvement and no exposure of cosmic conspiracies to present to you. After all, my experiences conveyed a much weightier lesson that vitiates any other consideration.
The content of that kind of lesson can neither be expressed nor learned by means of logic - thinking and language. It is transcendental. Yet it bears the greatest imaginable impact, permeating every aspect of life. It cannot be argued with and nothing can be derived from it - although one may be tempted to try in order to cope with the substantial changes it induces. The process of transformation may be challenging and often painful, depending on the amount of ballast one carries about. But only from such, a kind of insight will result that is not based on beliefs and the balancing of supposed facts. It is untouchable to the intellect, yet it shines from within and drives away all shadows of delusion and uncertainty.
"Why?", you may ask. "What is it good for?" If you live a regular modern life (I know there is no such thing), you probably have a job, maybe a family and children, some hobbies or entertainment preferences, a car and an accumulation of other properties. The pursuit, acquisition and maintenance of those living arrangements probably takes up most of your energy and time. Maybe you also have some smaller and larger debts to pay off, all the more keeping you running in the rat race.
I return the question: Why? Is that what fulfills you or - observe closely - does it rather help to cover up a lack you feel deep in your soul, a dark spot you do not like to be adverted to? "Why" is the ultimate question. It is in our nature to seek meaning, but like other basic needs, it can be diverted and alternatively compensated... at least for a while. You can only fill your stomach with water to suppress hunger for a limited time until the need for food demands to be satisfied and serious consequences are imminent.
Our institutional religious organizations have failed us. They can not give the answers so badly sought - simply because there are none, none to tell at least - see above, but even worse: They appear to suppress religious activity that is not within their confines. What is left is but a hollow and perverted shell of what it originally meant: Useful practices turned into dull and vain rituals, symbolic ado instead of sincere exercise. It seems they have intentionally forgotten what religion is about and focus on rather secular aims. Politics. God needs no books, houses, administrations, missionaries, rules and especially no second-hand religiousness. God has no needs at all, we do - the ego does. Each of us is a temple of God and a seed of awareness. Religion is about making that seed sprout. That takes more and less than words, hymns and good deeds.
Our governments are no better. Herbs that can induce visions leading to insight are widely prohibited and in spite of all the official reasons given, it is not hard to see why: Rat race. The process of waking up is mostly incompatible with behaving like what is considered a "productive member of society". That depends on society of course, but in our capitalistic systems it obviously applies. One who listens to the greater harmony is not an easy target for manipulation, does not surround himself with useless crap for the sake of the economy, does not enslave himself to a dysfunctional monetary system and refuses to fight other people's wars.
Another obstacle is fear, fear of the unknown, for example from parents that try to protect their children. Because they do not know better, because they too are running in the rat race, they support the outlawing of entheogenic herbs. Ultimately there is no such thing as safety. We all will inevitably die. What matters is how we live. Should we let fear - with its many faces - determine our lives? According to some who pretend to be in control, yes. A very actual topic. Fortunately, although they are very effective, entheogens are not the only means of achieving a greater view. Unfortunately, most parents do not intend their children to lead a spiritually independent and fulfilled life, but to make a career, to accumulate material things and gain social status - both often considered the same. Rat race, rat race... death.
True religion must be performed. It is the act of striving for meaning, which itself is therefore most meaningful. No one can accomplish that for you and although careful guidance may be of great value, only you can take the proper steps. It requires all your individual creativity and dedication and there are no valid rules limiting the scope of means. Beware of people and institutions that tell you otherwise. Beware of people who claim leadership, but be thankful to those who open gates or give directions when asked.
Learning to wake up in your dreams is definitely a good start and even if your motivation predominantly lies in "having fun" at the moment, it also represents a launch pad for spiritual endeavour. In dreams, one may gain insight into the nature of reality and learn that superficial opposites like inside and outside, reality and illusion, physical and non-physical, perceiver and perceived are intrinsically the same. One may also learn that the universe is but a mirror of the self and nothing can be perceived that is not within the scope of the perceiver. But that is just the entrance to the rabbit hole.
Finally you might find the one thing that allows you to live a fulfilled life: Meaning. Meaning that outshines everything and cannot be questioned, neither by yourself, nor by others. Step by step you will realize that you are so much more than your own (largely implanted) beliefs have degraded you to. Yet with meaning also comes purpose and responsibility.
Millenia of rivalry have brought us far, but imagine what one century of unconditional collaboration could do. I see a great potential in humankind, if we would just stop and reflect. But we keep on running, running, just like in a dream.
Let Love be the only law to follow. Not the egoistical love of human relationship, but the unconditional Love one can only perceive when stripping off the deceptive boundaries of the ego. Do not be a dreamer anymore, heedlessly racing from situation to situation, blindly driven by emotion. Observe, breathe and awake!